"How do you know he's the one?"

"How do you know he's the one...........if you haven't like.... 'done it' yet?"

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This is a question I'm asked all the time.  And the answer just keeps getting easier and easier to give. 

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I know he's the one because we don't HAVE to have sex to have love. 

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We've been together over a year and a half, and we've kept our commitment to not only ourselves, but to God.  God is not only the person we pray to at night, or the person we visit on Sunday mornings, but the centre of our relationship, and our sense of selves.  A relationship is so much more than just physical attraction, and good sex.  It's about loving one another during the best and worst times.  Our Definition of love is as simple as: Cheap date nights, Half price nachos, cuddles and Netflix on our projector, and sharing our love of Jesus with each other and others.  

So many people think that we need to have sex FIRST, BEFORE marriage, for a multitude of reasons. I, on the other hand, think that our love is perfect the way it is.  We don't need sex to confirm love.  Sure, when we're married that's another story, but why all of the pressure from society to have sex now?

I remember before I met Chris, I was dating someone, nothing serious, and not even 2 weeks into the relationship, my best friend told me I was going to have sex with him.  I was so shocked that she just assumed 2 weeks into a relationship, we couldn't wait any longer.  If not for God, why not for yourselves? Why do so many of us assume that there can't be love if there isn't sex?  I've seen so many of my friends all go down the same road of throwing it away to the first guy who comes around, or giving it up while drunk because "it was bound to happen sooner or later".  And once you've done it, it isn't a big deal any more. The next guy who comes around, he gets you sooner than the last because there's nothing to "give away" any more.   There's nothing special about it.  It's just something you do because it's fun, or it feels good, but doesn't have anything to do with love. 

I'm not here to judge anyone for their choices, I'm just asking you to respect mine.  I'm asking you to imagine how beautiful and special it would be to marry your best friend, and have saved yourself for that one special person who you want to spend the rest of your life with.  I'm so glad that I never gave myself away to the first boy who came around, or even the ones I thought I was in love with in high school.  I'm glad that without preaching, without fear, without force and without even knowing, Jesus touched my heart, and made this my decision.  A decision I made before I even understood why it was so important for my life.  

Prayer

At bible talk tonight, we really focussed a lot on prayer, which I think is something we all struggle with from time to time.  I know for myself, as much as I love God, and as big of a part of my life he is, I totally don't take enough time out of my day to spend praying and talking with him.  Sometimes, I go days without praying and I just completely forget that prayer is so essential.  I get so caught up with all of these temporary pleasures that the world has to offer and I forget all about Jesus.  It seems as though there's always a television show to catch up on, a game to play, a party to go to, or something "more important" to do than spending time with Jesus and it totally separates us from his love.

When I reflect on this, it upsets me so much.  I mean, God listens to each and every one of us, every minute of every day.  He doesn't forget about us,  or put us on the back burner for bigger, better things.  He's always ready to talk, and ready for us to ask for his guidance.

I think that prayer is important for so many reasons.  For starters, how can you have a relationship if it's only one sided?  Imagine being in a relationship with someone, who just coexisted with you, didn't really speak to you,  didn't listen when you asked them anything, or didn't answer any of you questions.  How would you feel?  When we forget to pray, and forget to spend time with Jesus, or neglect to listen to what he has to tell us, it's the same thing.  It's as though Jesus is in a 1-way relationship with us, and we're not reciprocating his love.

Prayer shouldn't only happen when you need something, or you're in a bind.  You know how it goes, "Oh God, please don't let me fail this exam, or please help me get out of this terrifying situation, or please help me find a boyfriend.".  But then, when God answers our prayers, we forget to thank him and praise him for all of his mercy, grace, and unconditional love.  We need to pray more, just to talk with him, and ask for guidance, wisdom, strength, patience, and the same unconditional love for others that he has for us, instead of just seeking God when we need or want things.

I know so many people who struggle with their faith, and struggle with prayer because they feel as though God doesn't listen to them, and neglects to answer their prayers.  This is totally not true.  I think in so many instances, we pray for things WE want, and we pray that things work out in our favour, and when they don't, we associate it with God's lack of answers.  What we have to remember is that God has out whole entire life planned out, from the day we are conceived until the day we make our journey to Heaven..  He knows the bigger picture, while we just know what we want at a given time.  Sometimes, awful things happen that only strengthen us and reinforce our relationship with Christ.

When I pray, I pray for God to show me where he wants me to be, and to use me as he desires.  I pray that he will use me as a disciple to both encourage others in their walk with him, and to lose my selfish ways, and completely surrender to him.  I pray that his will be done, but that he creates an outcome in my favour.  I trust that my Saviour won't lay on me more than I can handle, and that he has a bigger plan for my life than I can even imagine possible.  And that's why I know that in order for God to use me, I need to spend more time in prayer, and more time getting to know him and strengthening our relationship.

Recently, my parents began praying together, every night. They began truly relying on God for answers instead of taking matters into their own hands.  When things get rough, sometimes they slip, but usually one is there to encourage the other to seek guidance from God or one of the many wonderful pastors who have helped my family grow in our faith.  Since then, their relationship has strengthened so much, and their faith in Jesus has also grown much stronger.

This is something I think every couple should do.  I know that we don't do it, and after tonight, I challenge myself and Chris to take time every morning or every night to spend with The Lord, together.  If we can't pray together, than how can we encourage each other to grow in our faith and include God in our relationship?  In order to grow as a couple, we need to grow together in Jesus.  And in order to grow together in Jesus, we need to spend more time with him, and one way is through prayer.

Pray.  Even if you don't think you have the right words, or you're not sure what to say, or what to pray for, just pray.  Start small.  Even just stop to acknowledged God on a beautiful sunny morning, or when something positive happens, thank him.  Every relationship with Jesus is unique and special.  Don't feel like because some people pray more than you, their relationship is better or God is going to love them more.  God love each and every one of us with a love that is so immense he gave his son for us.  He knows our intentions, he knows when the prayers are real, and all he wants is for us to love him as much as he loves us.

So pray.

Is food the cause of Cancer, or is it Capitalism?

http://www.whydontyoutrythis.com/2013/09/top-10-most-unhealthy-cancer-causing-foods-never-eat-these-again.html

At this point in my life, I don't know what they expect us to eat... Every time I turn around, there's another article about how this food causes cancer, this food causes liver failure, this drink causes breast cancer, etc. It just doesn't end.

Let's be honest, when you're a student trying to get by, or you live in a low/middle class family where you shop sales because that's basically what you can afford, I don't know how you are supposed to avoid everything that is in the food we eat today.  As a university student, do you think that our cafeteria service is buying organic products and reading ingredient labels? probably not.

Unfortunately, we don't even know what we eat, and we're harming out bodies every single day with all of the crap we keep putting into it because the alternatives are not as simple as people want to believe they are.  And another thing, if I sat around worrying about everything that I put into my mouth, I'd be on narcotics.  Because it's not feasible for me to eat all organic, I can't spend my days reading the packages, and watching videos about what they do to genetically modify everything.  I'd never want to eat again.  The sad thing is, instead of companies using healthier alternatives, foods keep getting worse and worse, and the only other alternative is "organic" food which is not exactly organic in all cases, and is usually much more costly and does not go on sale like most food does.  for instance, broccoli comes on sale for a dollar sometimes, while the competitive organic broccoli is still somewhere around the $3-$4 mark. And understandably, local organic businesses need to make a living and survive, and it IS the healthier, better choice, but Economically, i can't do it.

I really with as communities, we could go back to farming, and actually together, own and maintain vegetation and crops, animals, and so on.  Farming is tough, and can be costly for one family if they're trying to support just themselves, keep up with the barn work, harvesting, watering, feeding, cleaning, and so on. Communities need to come together and find a more healthy, cost efficient way to eat REAL food, and I believe multi-family owned farms are the answer. Now I totally understand that we also have to work to make money due to our economically devastating community that has about a 5% millionaire to middle / lower class ratio.  The wealth is definitely not divided and definitely doesn't "Spread" very far.

I just look at our Capitalist market where everything is about MAXIMIZING PROFIT, which in turn, means boxes and packages of food get smaller, price goes up, healthier ingredients are replaced with whatever is the cheapest and will glue it together, animals and vegetation are ALL genetically modified to be bigger and grow 20x as fast to meet our insane demands for food.  Health has completely gone down the toilet because of these capitalist views and companies who are OBSESSED with money.

I truly applaud those in my community who create local homegrown, and organic products and I try to support them as much as possible.  I believe organic is the answer.   But I also believe that small local shops that have products that cost 3x the amount at shelf products, are not creating as big an impact because it then becomes a status problem.  Only those with money can afford to buy these products.

I think we need to take a bigger stand, and come together as a society and fight back against these corporations and capitalism, and create competitive priced organic products, but like I said, the only way we can do that is by doing this as a mass.  I know I would feel much better knowing that what I put into my mouth isn't activating another cancer cell with every bite.

I started this post about food, but I think with all of the sociology of Capitalism I have been doing, it really hit me that it's not just the food that's the problem, it's actually Capitalism.  If people weren't so obsessed with Money Money Money, if wealth was more equally distributed, if we ALL had the financial ability to afford organic products, and help those who don't a little, I mean, we could actually make a difference.  People survived just fine years ago before all of this GMO BS came out. What changed? Capitalism did. Insatiability did.  MORE MORE MORE did.

In the end, I kind of think Capitalism is a cancer. It keeps spreading, growing, and affects everyone.  Only a few benefit from it, the rest, they're just victims of the system.

Reponse to the Salvation Army's statement about LGBTQ

I swear these blogs always start as a Facebook status, and turns into something so much bigger within minutes.

Before reading this blog post, you should take a few seconds to read this article regarding the Salvation Army and their stance on gay rights.  My blog is a reflection of that article and so you may not understand what I'm saying if you haven't read the article.

http://www.richarddawkins.net/news_articles/2013/6/10/salvation-army-says-gays-need-to-be-put-to-death

This article is so unbelievably sad. This, among so many other examples, (Fred Phelps, Churches who preach hate and fear) are the reason so many Christians are leaving the church and turning away from God completely.

The thing is, we all have our own personal beliefs. Some Christians believe homosexuality is a sin, while others don't. Just like we believe things for many reasons that are not related to religion at all.

The problem is, when your religious beliefs state that people should die, and you feel as though something like homosexuality is worth preaching about in every setting, and that it is worth putting in your pamphlet, then there's the problem. We can't condemn people for their personal opinions or beliefs, JUST like they can't condemn others for their sexuality or sexual orientation.

What's really sad, is they haven't figured that out yet, just like most of the world's population. The whole entire point of the salvation army is HELPING people who have nothing, and ministering to the poor. . So why on earth do their beliefs about homosexuality even have to be relevant in their work, their pamphlet or their training?

We need to start leaning to respect and love people for who they are.  I can assure you that My relationship with Jesus is built on LOVE not FEAR. MY GOD, is a loving God, who isn't waiting for a lightening bolt in hand, waiting to strike us every time we sin.  He sent his son to die on the cross for us so that OUR SINS would be forgiven.  That's not to say that he isn't disappointed in me when I sin, and doesn't want the best for me, but this whole "dictator, evil, fearful, tormenting God" that people have drawn a picture of over the years, is not at all what he's like.

Do you really think God created everybody in his own image, JUST to tell us that we couldn't be who we are? Do you really believe that Sexuality/Orientation is a choice?  And before you answer yes, take a few minutes to think about the oppression that LGBTQ youth and adults feel on a daily basis.  I have friends that have been kicked out and disowned for their sexuality.  In Russia, people are being tortured and KILLED for their sexuality.  Do you really believe that somebody would CHOSE to be gay or Trans gender, knowing what they may face?

Seriously people.

LOVE              LOVE
   is          =          is
LOVE              LOVE

We REALLY need to start sharing the LOVE of God.
We need to stop using religion as an excuse to HATE what we don't understand. 

And to the salvation army, you're sharing God's LOVE, his just JUDGEMENT.... but your OWN judgement and opinions are getting in the way.  There are many other outlets for helping others, and many people are going to find more INCLUSIVE places to give their money.  

Leave your blankets at the door; That's my statement.

I know that I have already talked about this whole chant craziness, but after reading some of the posts and comments by CBC, and people around the world, I need to share something else that is more important than this single, disgusting issue.

The thing is, people are blanketing ALL of SMU with this label, and I can promise you that SMU is one of the best universities around! I love it here. This whole thing is stupid, and doesn't just encompass SMU students but our society as a whole.  Not every student took part in this, it was a bunch of frosh leaders who continued a four year tradition and I have no idea why or how it stuck around.  I don't know how anybody could listen to the words this says, and believe that it's just okay, but it happened.

The surface problem is that a chant was made about, and promoting rape.  The BIG problem, is that This arrogant, self-righteous president Jared Perry has ZERO humility and empathy towards the issue. His apology was insincere, and was a formality.

The BIGGER problem, is that people all around think it's just ok.  They think things like this are stupid and funny and that we shouldn't be offended or care. NOT Just SMU students.  I've been reading comments from people who see nothing wrong with this, and they aren't just from Alumni.  These things happen at every campus, and I can promise you that SMU is not the only campus who has done something like this, however, ours just happened to go viral, and for a damn good reason.

I am disgusted with this chant, as well as the chant about masturbation and whatever else was said.  I think that frosh weeks in general are too focused on sex and sexual objectification.  But people can say what they want, because if I went to X, Dal, or another University, it would have been the same thing only different words.

Since this went viral, I've read comments on CBC news saying how awful SMU is, how you shouldn't let your daughters date boys from SMU, how all students who graduate from here are snobby people who believe they're better than others, and how plain and simple it's just an awful place.  The sad thing is, the whole of the student body, the faculty, and most of the students, are all amazing people who take pride in our campus.  I LOVE my school.  I LOVE my friends.  This awful, disgusting chant, is a product of our hypersexualized rape and pop culture.

We don't need to fix SMU, we need to fix society. We need to stop pointing fingers at others and start pointing them at ourselves.  If your child is going to university with the belief that this kind of disgusting chant is okay, what kind of things have you been teaching them?  What kind of role models do we have in society? We have politicians who lie, celebrities who cheat, and singers who strip and make out with dolls to get famous.  Seriously, I mean, our role models SUCK.

I don't want to be remembered as the girl who went to "THAT school".  I don't want to apply for grad school, and be turned away because of some awful chant that I had no part in.  I don't want people to look at SMU, and see it in the disgusting way they seem to be seeing it now.

I challenge you all to look in the mirror, and really reflect on the product of your environment you became.  I challenge you to think of who you consider a role model, who you look up to, what you want to be and how you plan to achieve it.  I challenge you forget about this single incident for just one minute, and think about the bigger picture: Where society has gone wrong.

SMU boys like their girls YOUNG? wow...

“SMU boys, we like them young. 
Y is for your sister. 
O is for oh-so-tight. 
U is for underage. 
N is for no consent. 
G is for grab that ass.”


Well, it's day two of the media coverage surrounding SMU's absolutely degrading chant that went viral yesterday, and it's only just begun.  I can't even begin to explain how I feel, because it's just to unbelievable.

For starters, before the comedian show last night, our SA President, Jared Perry gave a less-than-apologetic speech basically saying "Sorry if we offended you, ENJOY THE SHOW".  Don't quote me, because I know that's not exactly what he said, but if he was trying to be sincere, it definitely wasn't conveyed through this very short, sweet and less than sympathetic apology.

Then today, I find this video, which actually sickens me.  I honestly see ZERO emotion in this guy's face when he should be mortified that he played a role in such a sexist, disgusting chant.  The whole thing was so rehearsed and forced. I felt nothing but frustration while listening to him pretending he gave a crap about what happened.  He not only admits to knowing it's been going on and taking part in it, but says he was unaware of the message it portrayed at it's severity.  He says it's been going on for years but will stop today.  How as the SMSA President, do you not see anything wrong with a chant that is not only sexually demeaning, but actually promotes rape? I mean, how do you sit back and go "yeaah, this is cool!".  I agree that when you're caught up in the moment, the meaning may slip by you, but after years of hearing it, doesn't the message start to become a little more clear?  He kept avoiding question, saying that we were moving forward, and trying not to contradict himself, which he seemed to do time after time. The thing is, you can't move forward until you move through what happened.  This whole water under the bridge, let's forget about it, move on thing, it just doesn't work.  If you can't take complete ownership of what you've done wrong, or see the bigger problem, which isn't the chant, but the fact that not ONE of these leaders seen a problem with it, then we are never going to actually get passed the problem.

http://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/video

I think the saddest part is that many of the freshmen and other students who this came up in conversation with have actually rolled their eyes, and said it wasn't a big deal.  They said that this is what the university has to tailor their frosh week to because this is how to get down onto our level, by being sexual.  Well, let me tell you, this is definitely not my level.  One girl I spoke to even laughed it off, saying she had been sexually assaulted in the past and still sang it because it was just a chant and it was funny.  What sickens me the most, is that somehow, she's okay with this. By saying these lyrics, she just told the assaulter who assaulted her, that it was okay.

I'm just so disgusted that as a society, we see nothing wrong with this behaviour.  We sit around and LET men demoralize us, we LET our peers demoralize us, and stupidly enough, we do it to ourselves. This whole entire culture has changed so much over the years, sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. We are in the year 2013 and most people can't even tell you what is considered rape and sexual assault.  It's all so blurry and complicated.  This just proves it right there.  I don't believe for a second that even a quarter of these men that screamed this chant are capable or sexual assault, but you know what?  They didn't see anything wrong with the chant.

Honestly, as a woman, I don't find it empowering to be half naked, to sleep around, or to run around chanting about my sex life. There's nothing empowering about that.  I don't feel like a REAL woman by being a SEXUAL woman. In fact, I don't want anyone to know about my personal life.  That's mine. Not yours.

In general, this whole week has been about sex starting with the chants.

There were two chants that took place, both very sexual, then an explicit hypnotist show, then dirty bingo where you play bingo to win condoms, and so on.  Other than turn burn (some of the activities were okay, others were sexual based and that's where the chanting took place), the comedian who was kinda average and boring, and the concert tonight, everything else was very sexual with no alternatives. Even for students who wouldn't have wanted to take place in these things, there weren't other activities offered.  I'm not saying that frosh week should be filled with fuzzy unicorns and telling knock-knock jokes, I just feel like, at some point, what was once sexual and funny, becomes way overboard and kind of degrading and sexually objectifying.  When do we draw the line between funny and disgusting?

Being a part of the Antigonish Women's Resource Centre project, "The Resisting Violence Project" Rural Youth Take Action, was such an amazing opportunity and really opened my eyes to the views of our culture and it's just so  sad.  I had the chance to make and attend presentations, and so much more.  Now, I am a board member of the SMU Women's Centre, and clearly I couldn't have joined at a better time.  We really need to take a stand against this awful behaviour and shed some light in an issue that just doesn't seem to be getting any better.

We all have a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend or someone who has been or knows someone who has been affected by sexual assault and rape.  Are we really going to sit back and let rape be glorified through frosh week chants, and then mocked by students who think it's just a big joke?

Self Respect people. Self Respect.

What it's like to be a Christian during Frosh Week.

So I came across this post from CBC news a few minutes ago, and was a little shocked.  apparently, for the beginning of frosh week which I missed, SMU leaders chanted a very racy, disgusting chant about the guys wanting to have un-concentual sex with under age girls. In fact, the girls were chanting this too.  I am a little grossed out that they made a chant about rape.  I just scream and ask if these girls are even aware of what they are saying.  They are actually promoting violence against themselves.  Not just sex, but rape.  And let's be honest, although it is NEVER the victims fault in a rape or sexual assault, what kind of image and ideas are we giving boys by chanting that we want them to come and have sex with us?  Again, I am not victim blaming, but I'm being real.  So many people are so unsure of what sexual assault is, and so if we're screaming at the top of our lungs to come rape us, then when they do, the whole thing just becomes one big mess.  I know this wasn't made this year, but seriously, why was it even made, and in good conscious, why was it not revised, removed or replaced?

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2013/09/04/ns-smu-chant-underage-sex.html

This combined with the live onstage porno featuring a hypnotist, and bingo where you win condoms tonight has made it for an interesting frosh week at SMU.  I never heard this chant until now because I missed out on turn burn, however, at the hypnotist, they did another chant that was a whole pile of words that were meant to sound like "masturbation", "eat her out", and a whole bunch of other sexual words that I can't even remember.  Not to say that I didn't have a good time laughing at the hypnotist show, but there were scenes that I just couldn't watch because I was so disgusted.  It was honestly like watching live porn.. When you're sitting in the audience watching people give hardcore blow jobs to the air, and eating girls out in their state of hypnosis, it's just a little bit too much. Some scenes crossed the line of "funny" and became completely degrading and disgusting.

I came to SMU because I love this school.  It's definitely one of the best in my opinion and offers a lot for me, however, as a Christian, and a girl who has no tolerance for violence against women or anyone, I definitely would have found it hard to chant these degrading sexual things because that's just not who I am. Just like I'm not going to go to dirty bingo tonight and win condoms because I don't have sex.  I don't know why it is necessary for every aspect of frosh week to revolve around sex.  I'd love to be able to take part in my frosh week chants, but I can't, because they disgust me. And you know what?  Even though this article is about SMU, I'm damn sure they aren't the only university who has something like this, in act, I'm sure there are worse things happening.

I think that universities need to focus more on all inclusive frosh week activities (and yes, i know they include all ages) but when I say all inclusive, I mean, why does everything have to be a big sex rave? Why does every chant have to imply that we are horny sex machines all looking for somebody to get laid with? Seriously.... I KNOW that I am not the only person who feels this way, but am I the only one who is willing to come right out and say it?

Plain and simple: I want to have fun without sexually objectifying myself and degrading women like myself and my friends. Chants and activities need to be less about SEX, and more about other things.  I'm not a prude, I don't wear a chastity belt, I don't run around yelling sex is a sin, I just think that university shouldn't be all about sexually objectifying ourselves.